Game Nite

And I could have done so many things, Baby
If I could only stop my mind
From wondrin' what I left behind
And from worrying 'bout this wasted time
 ~ The Eagles, “Wasted Time,” Hotel California 

In retrospect, it felt like wasted time, which just means I wasn’t doing something I was passionate about.  Maybe I wasn’t passionate about THAT game, and maybe I would be if I gave it more time, or maybe I would be more engaged with a different game. Or a different set of people.  All of these variables change from night to night, I know. And part of it is feeling uncomfortable – not knowing what I’m doing, not feeling like I belong – so I go away thinking it wasn’t really my thing.

I should probably give it another try. 

 ***

You walk into Game Nite in Webster Groves and it looks like every other game store: people looking at displays, people talking about games, friendly merchants offering advice. In the back are a lot of long tables with folding chairs, and a couple of smallish groups of people. Later it will be explained that RPGers meet at the very back, while the board gamers take up a couple of the tables nearer the merchandise.

I wondered at first whether it was okay to bring my bottle of water in with me, but when the role players arrived with a pizza and two quarts of soda, I decided I was okay. Only one of the RPGers was in costume – or maybe he always dresses that way – it’s a little hard to tell.  He had on a red felt hat, flat-crowned with a fairly wide brim, and blue inflatables on both wrists. I kept thinking they were weights, but I’m not sure.

The board gamers were quite ordinary looking, mostly in their late 30s, I would guess, not much in the way of facial piercings or flamboyance. I was running late, worried that tardiness was an unforgivable breach of etiquette – “Let the games begin!” – but no. They were still waiting for more people to show up and decide what to play. They made me welcome and then hit me with The Question:

 What kind of games do you like to play?

 “I … don’t,” I blurted, delivering a garbled explanation of the game I had received for Christmas and the need to find players. The two men at the table embarked on a discussion of Discworld board games and which game “those ladies” (not currently present) like to play. They finally decided it was “the Ankh-Morpork one,” while my game is “the other one.” This would have seemed very friendly if any of it had been addressed to me, but it wasn't - it was Insiders talking over the Outsider's head.

We played Ticket to Ride, European version, in which the object is to connect cities (Smolensk to Bucharest, Barcelona to Berlin) via train routes, by placing little tiny plastic train cars on the tracks. “What happens if someone is already occupying my route?” I asked. “Do I get to derail them?”

 “No,” replied my hostess, matter-of-factly, “but I like the way you think.” She reminded me of Rosie O’Donnell – not in obnoxious voice, but in quick, self-assured comebacks and mock hostility laid over genuine kindness. When I protested that I didn’t want to hold people back because of my own lack of skill, she countered that SHE was afraid I wouldn’t ask questions and therefore wouldn’t enjoy myself.

 Another knot of board gamers showed up a little later and played at another table. There was very little interaction between the two groups, except that a new guy named Zen had been observing Ticket to Ride for a little while. Kathleen, the hostess (asst. organizer of the Meetup group), interrogated him on his game preferences, then hollered to the other table. “PATRICK! Have you met Zen! He likes the same kinds of games you do!” Matchmaking in Gamer World.

 ***

It was fun, but I felt a little empty. For one thing, there was almost no conversation that didn’t relate to the game. I mean, there was a little banter, some posturing and teasing. The guy who owned the game made a point of telling me that he “let” me have that one route because I’m new (“Next time, go ahead and be a dick,” I replied), and Kathleen offered to look at my cards and not use the knowledge to humiliate me TOO badly. But there wasn’t much bonding or bullshitting, no real conversation.

I suppose this is not unlike sports, in which the conversation all has to do with the game, and then the people who actually like one another all go out for drinks afterward. I was not invited for drinks afterward, but I didn’t stay for a second game. The Meetup is scheduled for 6 to 10, and usually they get in two games in that time. I left at 8, when the first game concluded (I lost, as expected), claiming I wanted to ease my way in and not fry my brain with too many new games at once. Which is partly true.

***

 So you can get on with your search, Baby,
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find
That it wasn't really wasted time.

 

Comments

[WS]

Hmmm, no update. Did you go?

[KayO]

This post IS the update ... did you read it?

[R]

A lot of the discourse that surrounds discussions of "nerd talk" will tell you that: gamers like to show off how smart they are. It comes across as very rude, but it's really just a performance that's supposed to impress you. ^_~ They were talking to each other about the games you might like because they were posturing. It's dumb; but I don't think that's limited to geek culture.

A lot of the board games that gamers play are...fairly complicated. Things like Risk, Settlers of Catan, Arkham Horror, the like. They're a LOT of fun- but it can be daunting to learn them with strangers, I think, if you don't already like that kind of game.

The card games are usually easiest to get into and often reeeally silly. Check to see if they have Red Dragon Inn (you'd like it!), Lunch Money, or Once Upon a Time. They're sort of 'role play/card games' and playing them will introduce you to cool people you'll feel comfortable playing board games with. At least that's how it worked for me!

[KayO]

So what I took as aggression was really friendliness? That's great. I KNEW I had to learn the ways of a different culture!